Tips for Successfully Sharing a Home With a Former Spouse

Moving on From a Relationship Without Moving Out

The overall divorce rate in the United States is anywhere from 30 to 50% depending on where you get your information from. Younger Americans are less likely to get divorced while older Americans have seen their divorce rates increase dramatically since 1990. However, you may find that you’re stuck sharing a home or an apartment with your former spouse for months after the divorce is finalized.

Make Sure to Create Your Own Space

One of the most important parts of sharing a home with a former spouse is ensuring that you have a space to call your own. For instance, you could choose to claim the guest bedroom that has the bathroom attached to it as your own little apartment. You might also consider staking claim to the finished basement that has its own entrance and exit. Even setting up separate sleeping arrangements on the living room couch can be enough to create physical space. Taking such a step can minimize the amount of contact that you have with your former husband or wife and allow you to process your emotions in private.

Don’t Expect to Rekindle the Romance

If you are still friendly with your former spouse, it may be possible to share meals, have movie nights or otherwise spend time together at home. However, it is important that you create limits as to how friendly you get with this person. If one person mistakes a kind gesture such as making dinner or sharing a blanket for an attempt to reconcile, it could result in hurt feelings.

Hurt feelings could lead to arguments that may make it difficult to peacefully share a home. Furthermore, attempting to reconcile when your former partner isn’t interested in doing so can prevent you from truly getting past a relationship and moving on with your life.

Keep Lines of Communication Open

Living with someone means that you are likely responsible for paying a portion of the rent or buying groceries. You might also be responsible for making repairs or ensuring that the home remains clean. It is important that you understand what your responsibilities are around the home and what your current housemate will be responsible for.

In some cases, it may be a good idea to create a formal lease or similar type of written agreement. Effective communication can help ensure that rent or mortgage payments are made on time or that the home is in good enough condition to be sold when the time comes to put it on the market.

Don’t Abdicate Your Responsibilities as a Parent

If your children are living with you and your former spouse, it is important that you provide a nurturing and positive environment for them. This means helping them with school assignments or comforting them when they are upset or nervous about the future. It is often a good idea for you and the child’s other parent to work together whenever possible to provide stability for your son or daughter.

Know That Help Is Available

The COVID-19 pandemic has made it difficult for people to do little more than go to the grocery store or take a walk around the neighborhood. Although you may not be able to venture far from home, it doesn’t mean that you can’t get in touch with a mental health counselor when you’re feeling isolated.

If you are being threatened by your former spouse, you can attempt to call the police or a local domestic violence hotline to get help. Those who are unsure of how to solve a problem with this individual can also call friends or family members for moral support or guidance. Finally, a divorce lawyer may be able to provide insight into what resources are available when you run into a problem of any kind.

When you need a divorce lawyer, feel free to contact the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner in Jenkintown by calling (215) 886-1266. You can also contact the firm by sending a fax to (215) 886-2670.