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Aug 09

The Benefits of Parallel Parenting After a Divorce

Reasons to Consider Parallel Parenting After Your Divorce

Although the divorce rate in the United States has been dropping for about 20 years, nearly 39% of first marriages end in a divorce. Many of these marriages include young children, and conflict around parenting and child custody is one of the primary areas of contention discussed with a divorce lawyer. One way that divorcing couples can reduce stress and conflict and minimize time in the courtroom is to create a plan for parallel parenting of their children.

What Is Parallel Parenting?

Parallel parenting is a method of raising children in which the divorced parents minimize interactions with each other. Instead of arguing with each other, they focus their time and energy on their children. This is an effective parenting method when you and your ex-spouse have difficulty being civil with each other.

How Does Parallel Parenting Differ From Co-Parenting?

In a co-parenting situation, parents regularly communicate with each other, present a united front, and have similar rules at each residence. It involves a lot of cooperation and communication. Parallel parenting divides parenting responsibilities and minimizes interactions between the adults. By dividing responsibilities and following the plan, the parents may rarely need to interact with each other.

Who Should Consider Parallel Parenting?

Divorced couples who can’t seem to agree on anything should consider developing a parallel parenting plan with a divorce lawyer. Instead of focusing on problems with each other, this plan focuses on the well-being of the children. Minimizing interaction between the divorced parents also reduces stress and the amount of time that is spent in a courtroom.

How Does Parallel Parenting Benefit Divorcing Parents?

A parallel parenting plan allows both parents to remain active in their children’s lives. It minimizes the stress on each other and disruption for the children. A successful parallel parenting plan demonstrates that parents can focus on what’s best for their children instead of their disagreements, dislike, or distrust for each other. The plan creates guidance for common issues that are likely to breed conflict, such as where children will spend the holidays or which parent will deal with behavioral problems at school. A well-thought parallel parenting plan also makes it easier for divorced parents to move on with their lives after a marriage filled with conflict and arguments.

How Do Children Benefit from Parallel Parenting?

When parents establish a parallel parenting plan, children tend to develop fewer behavioral and emotional problems. They’re more likely to do better in school, develop strong friendships, and have positive relationships with each parent. Parallel parenting also helps children build better self-esteem, and they may be able to avoid feeling as if they were the cause of their parents’ marital problems or the reason for the divorce.

What Should I Include in a Parallel Parenting Plan?

A plan for parallel parenting should include as many specifics as possible. Although you can’t possibly anticipate every event or emergency that could occur with your child or ex-spouse, some elements that you should cover include the start and end of each parent’s visiting time, how and where your child will be exchanged, who is responsible for transporting your child, what happens if one parent misses or cancels their scheduled visit and when each parent has exclusive decision-making power. Some other aspects of parenting to add to your plan include who will take your child to medical and dental appointments, how to handle accidents and injuries, scheduling social, school, and religious activities, and dealing with behavioral issues and daily routines.

If you’re considering a divorce and would like to know more about parallel parenting, you may benefit from speaking with a divorce lawyer. Contact the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner in Jenkintown, Pennsylvania, at (215) 886-1266, or enter your information into our contact form, and an associate will reach out to you to schedule a consultation.

Aug 05

How Will a Divorce Impact My Financial Future?

How Will Divorce Affect My Finances?

Money is among the top three reasons why people choose to divorce. Unfortunately, the process of divorce itself can cause significant financial difficulties for one or both parties, as net worth typically drops by at least 50%. Divorce has immediate, short-term and long-lasting impacts on your finances, but working with a divorce lawyer and using an out-of-court mediation or collaborative process may help mitigate the effects of divorce on your bottom line.

Paying for a Divorce

Using an alternative dispute resolution process helps you stay out of the courtroom during divorce proceedings. However, you’ll still have to pay for legal representation, court fees and other expenses related to the divorce, such as document preparation fees. Depending on the length of your divorce process, how long it takes you and your spouse to agree to terms and whether or not there are child custody issues, paying for a divorce may be a considerable expense. Some people need to take out personal loans in order to pay for these costs.

Increased Costs of Living on Your Own

During a marriage, the costs of housing, utilities and food are typically shared. Maintaining two separate households costs more than one larger household in most situations. After a divorce, at least one party typically moves out of the family home. If you’re the one moving into a new residence, you’ll have to come up with the funds for a security deposit, utility deposits and more.

Lower Standard of Living

After a divorce, your standard of living is likely to drop. You may have less disposable income for restaurants, clothing and other niceties. Many people have to downgrade their vehicles, move to a lower-cost neighborhood or a smaller home and forego services, such as cable, television subscriptions or gym memberships. If you were a stay-at-home parent, your lifestyle could change drastically if you have to search for a job after being out of the workforce for a while.

Decrease of Your Net Worth

Your net worth includes real estate, investments, vehicles, jewelry, cash and other items of value. In most divorces, those assets are split between the two parties. Your net worth may drop by 50% or more. If you must pay spousal or child support, or if the court awards your ex-spouse more than 50% of the marital assets, your net worth could drop even further. With a lower net worth, you might find it more difficult to borrow money for personal needs, take on a mortgage or secure a business loan.

Difficulty With Sudden, Unexpected or Large Expenses

Married couples often have two incomes, which makes a sudden or unexpected expense less of a catastrophe. For example, when a married couple needs to replace the roof on their home, securing a loan or paying for the roof with monthly payments or cash on hand is usually a doable situation. If you had to pay to replace a leaking roof on just one income, the situation could be more challenging. You’ll also need to consider how divorce will impact other large expenses, such as paying for a child’s college education, replacing a vehicle or getting a new furnace.

Depleted Savings and Investments for Retirement

Pensions, Social Security benefits, stocks, investments and retirement accounts are all counted by the court when determining assets. Your ex-spouse may claim part of your pension funds, leaving you with less money for retirement. Many people dip into their 401(k) accounts in order to pay for their legal expenses or to purchase a new residence after a divorce. Depleting your retirement account may incur penalties and fees, especially if you’re younger than age 59 1/2. Your emergency fund may be depleted, and restoring it on your income alone could be a difficult task.

If you’re considering a divorce and have concerns about the financial impacts, you may benefit from an appointment with a Pennsylvania divorce lawyer. Call the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner at (215) 886-1266, or fill out our contact form to request a confidential consultation today.

Jul 09

Choosing Arbitration as an Alternative Conflict Resolution for Divorce

Arbitration Is a Cost-effective, Time-saving Divorce Resolution Method

Settling a divorce in a courtroom can take time and money, and not all couples want to take that route. Arbitration provides an alternative option to avoid going to court while still retaining some of the certainties that a trial can provide.

How Does Arbitration Work?

Arbitration is an alternative way to resolve divorce conflicts. For the process of arbitration, the spouses each work with a divorce lawyer, and they also hire a third-party arbitrator to make the final decisions regarding the case. Each party presents their arguments, evidence and witnesses, and then the arbitrator, who is often a lawyer or retired judge, makes the final decision. While similar to a trial in court, it differs from it since the parties need to agree on whether the arbitrator will rule on all or just some of the divorce issues, on the scheduling for the case and on the degree of formality of the case.

Benefits of Arbitration

Arbitration provides wide range of benefits that make it attractive to many couples. Some of these benefits include:

  • Faster divorce resolution
  • Less expensive
  • Privacy and discretion
  • Informality of the process
  • Collaboration between the spouses
  • Certainty of a binding judgement

The Cost of a Trial Versus Arbitration

A divorce can cost thousands of dollars. When couples end up going to court to battle to settle their divorce issues, the cost can increase and even become prohibitive. Arbitration can help couples save money since the process itself takes less time from start to finish. Since couples do not need to wait to schedule a court date based on the judge’s calendar and each divorce lawyer needs less time to prepare for the case, arbitration becomes a more cost-effective option. Preparation for arbitration is somewhat less formal than for a court case, so the lawyers, who are often paid hourly, can spend less time preparing to present their client’s case.

Privacy and Discretion Are Important

The court records of divorces resolved by arbitration are public. However, the actual process is completed in private, which means that you can retain general privacy and discretion about your life, unlike a trial, which is open to the public. When you are negotiating how to divide your assets or how much financial support should be paid, discretion is important. Privacy can also be very valuable when the divorcing couple are parents, who want their issues and their children’s information to remain private.

Arbitration Can Be Helpful When There Are Children Involved in the Divorce

During divorce arbitration, parents can also resolve issues related to child custody and support. If both parties can come to an agreement focusing on the best interests of their children, the resolution of the arbitrator will be accepted by the court. However, if the court decides that the children’s best interests were not served by the judgment, then the court reserves the right to revert the arbitration for those issues.

However, when parents use arbitration to resolve their divorce issues, they also need to agree to the arbitration, hire the arbitrator and accept the rules for their arbitration. This can also benefit their children, who can witness their parents collaborating even as they are negotiating the dissolution of their marriage. Collaboration between the parents tells children that their parents are still willing to work together to resolve issues, something that will come in handy as they move forward with parenting after divorce. It also spares them the emotional trauma of a court battle.

Not all divorce cases need to end up in a contentious trial. Choosing an alternative method of conflict resolution such as arbitration can save you time, money and stress. You can learn more by contacting us at the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner at 215-886-1266 or via our website. Our offices are located in Jenkintown, and we will reach out to schedule a consultation.

Jul 05

How Can I Have a Child-Centered Divorce?

What Is a Child-centered Divorce?

About 72% of divorces take place within 14 years of marriage, which means that many young children experience the life-changing stress of living through this process. The long, drawn-out process of divorce can have life-altering effects on a child’s mental and physical health, and it puts their own future marriages at a higher risk of divorce. One way parents can mitigate these effects on their children is to work with a divorce lawyer who offers child-centered divorce services.

Set Your Priorities

When you or your spouse file for a divorce, you’ll have to consider what’s the most important part of the process. Many people focus on who gets the house or who keeps the family dog. In many cases, the children aren’t the first, second or even third priority. A child-centered divorce coordinated by a divorce lawyer ensures that the child or children are prioritized over everything else.

Agree on One Thing

You and your soon-to-be ex-spouse might disagree on almost everything. After all, that’s why you’re getting divorced. However, it’s important to agree on at least one item: Your children are the most important part of your lives. You both love your children more than anyone else in the world, and you want what is best for them no matter what. Once you can agree to this, you can move forward with a child-centered divorce.

What a Child-Centered Divorce Does

A child-centered divorce protects your children from emotional trauma. It also reduces their risk of developing a mental health disorder as a result of living through your divorce. Focusing on your child’s emotional needs could lower their risk of developing anxiety, depression or post-traumatic stress disorder. While a child-centered divorce won’t spare feelings of sadness or anger, it can mitigate them and make them easier for you and your child to manage.

Stay Out of Court

The first step in a child-centered divorce is staying out of the courtroom as much as possible. Going to court is costly, time-consuming and anxiety-provoking. The more time you spend in court, the more conflict your children witness. Working with a divorce mediator or with an attorney who has experience in the collaborative divorce process will help you minimize the amount of time you have to be in court.

Focus on the Future

Think ahead to five years from now. How would you want your child to view the experience of having their parents divorce? If you carry the burden of the divorce-related stress and help your child feel safe and loved, they may look at the experience as a way mature adults handle disagreements and how people can move forward with their lives in peace and with mutual respect.

Build Your Relationship With Your Child

Even though your marriage fell apart, your relationship with your child doesn’t have to follow the same path. Regularly ask your child how they feel. Spend time doing something fun with your child. If you’ve always enjoyed cooking together, playing at the playground or going to the beach, keep up those important traditions. You’ll be making positive memories that outshine the stressors of divorce. Maintaining rapport and trust with your child will solidify a lifelong positive relationship.

Be Patient

Recovery after a divorce could take a year or two for you and your child. Be patient with your child’s feelings and how they express them. Cut your child some slack on occasion. Some children may be more needy during and after their parents’ divorce while others might act out in order to get more attention. It’s okay to ask your child about their actions, but do it from a place of curiosity rather than one of frustration or anger.

Pennsylvania parents who are interested in a child-centered divorce may benefit from scheduling a consultation with an experienced family lawyer. Contact the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner at (215) 886-1266, or fill out our contact form to request an appointment at our Jenkintown office.

Jun 08

Can a Divorce Be Settled Through Arbitration Instead of in Court?

When Is Divorce Arbitration the Right Choice?

In the United States, about 2.3 out of every 1,000 adults get divorced each year. The process of going through a divorce can be time-consuming, stressful, and lead to unwanted attention, especially if it goes through the public court system. Working with an arbitrator and a divorce lawyer allows you to handle the matter privately and with less stress and frustration.

What Is Arbitration?

Arbitration is an alternative dispute resolution process that takes place outside of a courtroom. Your divorce lawyer and your soon-to-be ex-spouse’s lawyer jointly select a private judge to serve as the arbitrator. Each lawyer presents evidence on every issue that must be resolved for the divorce to be finalized. This includes spousal support, child custody and support, division of assets and debts, and even who gets the family dog or cat. The arbitrator listens to each side and makes a decision, and all parties agree to abide by the arbitrator’s choice. Less evidence is required for arbitration, and each side’s presentation is straightforward and succinct. Arbitrators charge by the hour, and their fees are typically lower than that of going to court for a contested divorce.

Where Does Arbitration Take Place?

Arbitration takes place in a private meeting room. The proceedings aren’t open to the public, and no announcement is made about your case. In some cases, arbitrators provide a private link for a teleconference meeting. This allows parties in different states to attend the meeting. If you have to travel for work, this option may be convenient for you.

Who Should Consider Arbitration for a Divorce?

Resolving a divorce through arbitration is ideal for people who want to get through the process as quickly as possible. If you don’t want your personal business brought to light in a public forum, this is another good reason to consider arbitration. Many divorces involve potentially embarrassing issues, such as alcoholism, drug use, infidelity, and other issues that you might not want to make public. Your arbitration agreement could include confidentiality of the proceedings. The terms of the divorce can also be kept confidential in arbitration.

If you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse are in agreement on most of the divorce issues, such as who gets to keep the house and who gets the kids on their birthdays, arbitration could be a more cost-effective option.

You might consider arbitration if you want to avoid the hostility that often results from a divorce trial. Perhaps you don’t want to go through more trauma, or you don’t want your kids to hear and see their parents arguing.

Many people seeking a divorce choose arbitration for its flexibility. Scheduling meetings is easier. Meetings may be scheduled in the evening or on weekends, which is less disruptive for your job and day-to-day life.

How Long Does Arbitration Take?

The arbitration process usually takes less time than a divorce trial. The divorce attorneys don’t have to present as much evidence to an arbitrator as they do to a family court judge. It may take months to schedule an initial court hearing. In contrast, an arbitration process may be completed in that duration of time.

Why Choose Arbitration Over Court?

When you choose arbitration, you, your soon-to-be ex-spouse, and your lawyers choose the arbitrator. In a court trial, your case is randomly assigned to a judge. Arbitration is also a good choice if you have a dispute around a particular issue, such as real estate. You could choose an arbitrator who practiced law in real estate and has specific expertise on the issue. Divorcing couples also get to pick the amount of time the arbitrator can have to make a decision and which issues will be decided by the arbitrator.

Anyone considering a divorce may benefit from a consultation with a divorce lawyer Reach the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner in Jenkintown, Pennsylvania at (215) 886-1266, or complete our contact form to request a consultation today.