Negotiating Custody and Parenting

The Benefits of Positive Negotiations in Your Child Custody Case

Negotiating child custody can sometimes become contentious, even if both Pennsylvania parents want what is best for their child. However, a drawn-out, tension-filled fight is not usually in the best interest of the child. Going into child custody negotiations with a positive attitude and a desire to reach a fair agreement can set the tone for the co-parenting relationship and is full of benefits for the whole family.

Preparing for Positive Negotiations

Before the negotiations begin, tempers might be running high. You might even think that having the assistance of a divorce lawyer might mean that that is what you are preparing for. However, it is best to not approach this as a fight between the parents because this will become an obstacle to reaching the ideal custody agreement and parenting plan. Remember that a negotiation is a time for both parties to present their views and then to go back and forth as they reach an agreement where they each feel satisfied with what they are getting in return for what they have given up. Some of the ways you can prepare to have a positive discussion include:

• Identifying your priorities
• Having clear reasons for them
• Being willing to be open-minded to the requests made by your child’s other parent
• Listing the things you want your children to be able to keep to maintain stability and support

Positive Negotiations Should Focus on the Best Interests of the Child

This might sound like an easy thing to do, but when passions are running high, this might be forgotten. However, your child custody negotiations must remain focused on the best interest of the child so that all the decisions you make during the process are about creating the best environment for your child to grow up in. There are several things you can do to keep your discussions positive and focused on your child’s best interests. These include:

• Discussing each parent’s priorities to see where they align and where they differ
• Maintaining respectful, honest, and open communication
• Committing to making decisions about the issues related to parenting your child
• Avoiding discussion of personal issues between the parents that do not relate to the child’s upbringing

Positive Negotiations Allows Room for Creative Solutions

All families are unique. Therefore, each custody agreement and parenting plan must also be unique. Sometimes, this requires creativity, which positive negotiation allows. You can speak with your divorce lawyer about the parenting issues you and the other parent are facing in reaching an agreement to come up with creative solutions for these issues. This might mean working out a nontraditional agreement or even a special support agreement. The goal is to reach a fair arrangement that works for the family and that allows both parents to walk away happy. This will also lead to more commitment by both parties to uphold the agreement they have made.

Positive Negotiations Benefits the Whole Family

Positive negotiation provides long-term benefits for the whole family. This is important because even if you and your estranged spouse have decided to end your romantic relationship, you remain a family and connected due to your children. Some of the benefits of positive negotiations include:

• Private space to resolve family issues in a way that works for all
• The possibility of quicker resolutions and possibly lower costs to the divorce
• An example for the children on how to resolve issues successfully and cooperatively
• Evidence for the children that both parents remain committed to the family and to raising and supporting them in a loving way
• Establishment of a positive tone for the co-parenting relationship

The result of your custody negotiation will have an impact on your life. More importantly, the results will have a significant impact on your child’s life. In that situation, you want the support of a divorce lawyer who can guide you through the negotiation process and help you reach an agreement that is ideal for your family. The Law Office of Joanne Kleiner might help you achieve this. Call us today at 215-886-1266 to set up an appointment to visit our Jenkintown offices.