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Divorce and Family Law Office of Joanne Kleiner

Amicable Divorce Attorney

divorce lawyer

Jan 14, 2023

Divorce and managing your emotions

Manage Your Emotions During a Divorce

No one wants to go through a divorce, but in some cases, it is inevitable. You may feel many conflicting emotions, such as guilt, relief, or anger. No matter what you do, it is crucial to keep those emotions in check.

Acknowledge Your Feelings

It is important to express your feelings, but you cannot keep dwelling on them, especially those negative thoughts. Ruminating about issues, problems, or events that trouble you will only make matters worse. When you are thinking about your situation, write down any thoughts. Writing your ideas down allows you to think through them more carefully. With that, you will not overreact when certain situations develop.

Consider writing down a few concerns about your legal issues. Additionally, think about what you want to ask your attorney. You will see some progress in your emotional health by taking a few minutes to think critically about your situation. While it may seem like you are not in control of the problem, writing out your concerns will allow you to manage the situation mentally.

During the divorce process, you may also experience frustration with your estranged spouse. Sometimes, they could make the process extremely difficult for you. When emotions run high in your marriage, it is not a good idea to deal directly with your spouse, but it is crucial to deal with your feelings. Instead of letting your emotions get the best of you, write a letter to your estranged spouse. You might not send it, but it allows you to express your emotions on paper.

Focus on the Future

Reliving bad memories can be a damaging and unhealthy habit. If you keep reliving the bad times, you will keep yourself trapped in those moments. Along with that, those situations or people will continue to have power over you.

If you go back to the beginning of your relationship and think about those happy moments, it can be harder to move through the divorce process. You might even feel like you are mourning a death. Yes, a divorce is an end to the marriage, but you will need to continue to move forward with your life. It is important to control your emotions and think about what’s ahead for you.

Now is the time to make plans for the future. This type of thinking can allow you to keep your emotions in check. Instead of focusing on the negativity, you should concentrate on what your life will be like in the next year. A divorce can allow you to focus on your goals and dreams. For this reason, it can help to have a divorce lawyer handle the legal process while you focus on your emotional well-being.

Speak to the Right Professional

While you might have a great relationship with your divorce attorney, they cannot solve every issue. Before calling your lawyer, check with friends, family members, or a support group. Lawyers are the right people to handle legal matters, but they are not trained therapists. Consider finding a licensed counselor or therapist who works with clients through a divorce. These professionals will be able to support you and give you a few tips to manage your emotions and other aspects of your life during a divorce.

Unfortunately, divorces can stir up plenty of emotions. While some people are great at handling problems on their own, many need to seek professional help. A therapist can help you look more rationally at the situation. Many attorneys even partner with mental health professionals to help serve their clients. No one wants you to struggle on your own. They have the resources to help you navigate the divorce process and come out the other side emotionally stronger.

Need Some Help With Your Divorce Case?

A divorce can be a complex and challenging process, especially when emotions are involved. You might want to contact a divorce lawyer to help you navigate the legal process and understand your options. Reach out to the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner at 215-886-1266 for a consultation about your Philadelphia divorce case.

Dec 13

7 Reasons Why Women Are More Likely to Initiate Divorce

The divorce rate for first marriages in the United States remains at a high level, and more than two-thirds of those divorces are initiated by women. There are several reasons why women are more likely than men to initiate a divorce and why working with a divorce lawyer can help to secure a comfortable future.

1. Lower Marriage Satisfaction

Although some women want to enter marriage more than men, once they are married, they might be less likely to be satisfied. Low marriage satisfaction involves many factors, including a lack of respect, insufficient trust, a decrease in shared interests, different political ideologies, poor emotional connection, and not enough affection. Incompatibility also plays a role in marital dissatisfaction. Women tend to want compatibility on more of life’s important issues than men.

2. Less Financial Harm Than Expected

In previous generations, few women worked after marriage. This is no longer the case. Today, divorce causes less financial harm to women than they might expect. While women on average still earn less than men, even in the same career or job, they are less likely to be in dire financial straits after a divorce than they were decades ago. Increasing educational levels and a greater number of women in the workforce mean that a divorced woman can provide for herself in many cases.

3. Reduced Reliance on Men

Women no longer have to rely on men for access to resources. When looking at human evolution, females tended to stay closer to home, tend to the children, gather nearby food and water, and handle the domesticated animals while males traveled a greater distance to hunt and secure other resources. Today, women have more access to resources. Laws passed in the last century allow women to have a bank account and credit card without a man’s permission. Women can also sign a lease, buy a home, and take out a loan without a male co-signer.

4. More Self-awareness

Past generations of women were taught to cater to the needs of men. This started from a young age when girls had to serve their brothers or father at home. Today, more women are taught to be self-reliant and self-aware. This greater sense of independence means women aren’t as afraid to be divorced.

5. Social Changes

Society doesn’t look down on divorced women like it used to. Birth control and access to education have allowed women to take charge of their futures. These social changes reduce the guilt that women feel for wanting out of their marriages.

6. Mismatch in Marriage Benefits

Heterosexual marriage remains a gendered institution. After a man and woman get married, the man reaps more benefits than the woman. Social expectations typically result in married women doing more hours per week of household chores and childcare than married men, even if both partners have full-time jobs. This often leads to a buildup of stress, frustration, and resentment that eats away at the core of the marriage.

7. Out-of-court Options

Today’s divorce process offers more out-of-court settlement options compared to what women could access a generation ago. It is often no longer necessary for a divorce lawyer to litigate a case in court. By choosing other options, such as mediation or collaborative law, women can keep their personal business out of the public’s eye. These alternatives can cost less, require less time, and help to improve communication for future co-parenting and other needs.

When you’re considering a divorce, a no-court option may be a helpful solution. Staying out of court takes some of the stress out of the process and may help you set up a collaborative communication system for the future. Consulting with divorce lawyer Joanne Kleiner provides you with information about your rights and how Pennsylvania divorce cases work so that you can make an informed decision about how to move forward. To make an appointment, call the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner in Jenkintown, Pennsylvania at (215) 886-1266. You may also request a consultation by completing our contact form, and an associate from our office will reach out to you.

Dec 07

The Role Of A Financial Neutral

What Does a Financial Neutral Do in a Divorce?

Debt and disagreements over money and assets are major sources of contention in many divorces in the United States. An estimated 54% of Americans believe that debt is a solid reason to divorce, and 35% of Americans say that finances are the leading cause of stress in their marriages. If your marriage has come to an end, working with a financial neutral in addition to a divorce lawyer could help you set up a more secure and less stressful future.

What Is a Financial Neutral?

A financial neutral is an independent, third-party expert or professional who focuses on the financial aspects of a divorce. They do not represent either of the spouses and thus does not advocate for one party or the other. If there is future litigation, neither party can contract with the financial neutral for future representation. The financial neutral may be retained by the divorce lawyer or by the couple if they both agree to the collaborative process.

What Are the Qualifications of a Financial Neutral?

The qualifications for a financial neutral encompass a wide range of degrees, certifications, and experience. Some of the certifications held by financial neutrals include certified public accountant, business appraiser, certified fraud examiner, certified divorce financial analyst, or certified financial planner. Most financial neutrals participate in many hours of annual continuing education in order to maintain their license to practice accounting and to maintain their certifications. A financial neutral usually holds a bachelor’s or master’s degree in business, finance, accounting, or a related field of expertise.

Which Services Can a Financial Neutral Provide?

During a collaborative divorce, these professionals focus on the financial aspects of the divorce. Their role often begins with information gathering. They may gather information from both parties. The financial neutral usually asks for documentation of income, debt, retirement savings, taxes, bank accounts, investments, and other assets and liabilities. They do not duplicate the efforts of the divorce attorney. The financial neutral provides copies of information to both parties as requested by the attorneys. After reviewing what both parties provide, the financial neutral may identify missing documents and overlooked debts or assets and request them before the divorce process can proceed.

How Does a Financial Neutral Participate in a Collaborative Divorce Process?

A financial neutral meets with spouses on an individual basis as well as during joint sessions. The spouses’ respective family law attorneys are usually present during joint meetings in order to represent the best interests of their clients. If one spouse plans to request spousal or child support, the financial neutral participates by creating budgets for one or both parties. They may also perform cash flow analyses for each spouse in consideration of what their post-divorce financial futures will look like.

Who Would Benefit From Working With a Financial Neutral?

Any divorcing couple in disagreement over the distribution of assets would benefit from working with a financial neutral. Divorcing spouses who do not have any major areas of contention may also benefit from working with the financial neutral in order to have a more clear picture of their finances after the divorce. A spouse who earns significantly less than the other may wish to work with a financial neutral in order to make a support request that is likely to be agreed to out of court.

If you’re facing a complicated financial future, a consultation with our divorce lawyer gives you insight into structuring a fair settlement and helps you understand more about your financial future. To learn more information about the impact of a divorce on your finances and the role of a financial neutral in the divorce process, arrange a consultation with the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner in Jenkintown, Pennsylvania. Contact our office by phone at (215) 886-1266, or fill out and submit our online form to make an appointment.

Nov 04

Planning for collaborative divorce sessions

What You Need To Know About the Collaborative Divorce Process

In the United States, the typical duration of a marriage that ends in a divorce is just eight years. Many people have heard horror stories about long, stressful divorce processes that end up with the airing of dirty laundry and much frustration in court, but working with a collaborative divorce lawyer could reduce the level of stress and the amount of time that it takes to end a marriage. Before you choose a collaborative divorce attorney, here are some questions to ask.

Will You Consider What my Spouse Wants in the Divorce Settlement?

This type of question gets to the heart of collaboration versus cooperation. A collaborative process ensures that the other person’s goals are met, even when those goals don’t match yours. Collaboration is more difficult than cooperation. It’s about mutual benefits and common goals. By the end of a marriage, many couples have few goals in common. However, some common goals might include ensuring what’s best for any minor children or protecting meaningful assets, such as the family home. A collaborative process requires both parties to respect each other’s goals and concerns and to understand that no agreement will be reached until both spouses meet their personal goals.

Can Divorcing Spouses Really Collaborate on the End of Their Marriage?

An attorney who has experience in collaborative law understands the differences between positions and interests. Positions relate to insisting on a specific result. Some would call this “a line in the sand.” Interests involve keeping an open mind about different options that meet one’s needs. Collaborative attorneys counsel their clients to explain their interests and avoid taking positions.

Do Collaborative Divorce Lawyers Work Well With Other Professionals?

Most collaborative divorce attorneys will work with other professionals who are advising their client or the other spouse during the divorce process. For example, the client might work with a financial advisor for clarification regarding financial concerns about spousal or child support, retirement, or avoiding bankruptcy. The financial professional could provide advice on structuring the settlement of the divorce in order to meet each spouse’s financial needs and goals. Collaborative divorce attorneys may also work with child therapists or psychologists who represent the child’s voice and perspective.

What Types of Collaborative Training and Experience Do You Have?

Collaborative law isn’t taught in every law school. An attorney who practices collaborative law often learns these techniques through professional associations or affiliations with specific groups. These groups offer ongoing training and educational opportunities. You may want to ask the attorney how many collaborative divorce cases they have worked on and how many of those cases were settled through collaboration versus how many of the cases went to court.

Do You Belong to Any Collaborative Law Groups?

The law evolves over time, and psychologists, legal scholars and other professionals frequently develop new techniques for successful collaborations between conflicted parties. A key way for a collaborative divorce lawyer to keep up-to-date on evidence-based collaborative processes is through a professional group affiliation. In Pennsylvania, many such groups exist. For example, the Central Counties Collaborative Law Community is a group consisting of licensed attorneys, psychologists, financial professionals and others who work with divorcing couples on collaborative agreements.

When a divorce is in your future, a collaborative process may reduce the stress on everyone involved. A consultation with divorce lawyer provides you with the information you need so you can make an informed decision about the legal process. To schedule a consultation with the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner in Jenkintown, Pennsylvania, call (215) 886-1266. You may also fill out our contact form, and an office associate will contact you.

Oct 05

Why Divorce Mediation May Be a Better Option for You

Why Divorce Mediation Works for All Parties

As of 2022, the median cost of a divorce in the United States is $7,000. Contested divorces with a wide range of disagreements require court settlements that may cost upwards of $20,000. Instead of dealing with the publicity, expense and long duration of a court battle, you may be able to work out areas of disagreement through divorce mediation. In addition to hiring a divorce lawyer to represent you, working with a divorce mediator helps you protect your long-term financial security and your short-term and long-term well-being.

What Does a Mediator Do?

A mediator acts as a neutral third party in order to manage the discussion and conflict between the estranged spouses. The goal of a mediator is to resolve disputes in a way that satisfies the interest of both partners. When people feel respected and listened to, they’re more likely to compromise and make fair and thoughtful decisions. Mediators would equalize the playing field and power level, even if there were a significant imbalance during the marriage.

How Is a Mediator Different from an Attorney?

A mediator has training and skills in resolving problems and managing conflicts. They help create agreements and use creative problem-solving skills to negotiate terms. A mediator starts by identifying where two parties agree. Then, they progress to determining and isolating the areas of disagreement and resolving them in a step-by-step, logical matter. Finally, the needs of both parties are acknowledged as essential and treated equally between the two parties.

An attorney has to represent their client with vigor. They work in competition with the opposing party in an adversarial environment. Attorneys use legal procedures to resolve points of conflict. Attorneys typically have an assertive problem-solving style, while mediators focus on cooperation.

What Are the Advantages of Choosing Divorce Mediation?

When you choose the process of divorce mediation, the settlement is in your control. When you retain control, you feel more at ease and less stressed. You can focus on settling areas of disagreement instead of negative feelings about your ex-spouse. Because you and your ex-spouse directly work with the mediator to create the settlement, both parties are more likely to uphold it. As a result, mediated divorces are more successful and less likely to end up in court.

A mediator charges less per hour than a divorce lawyer. When you and your estranged spouse have a lot of areas of disagreement, fighting it out in court could get expensive. Working it out with a mediator won’t cost as much, and you’ll be able to start your new life on a better financial foundation. In mediation, you have a cooperative mindset, while litigation creates an aggressive and belligerent attitude.

Working with a mediator keeps your business private. If you don’t want the public to know all of the details of what went wrong in your marriage or who gets what in the settlement process, working with a mediator preserves more of your privacy. Discussions with a mediator are private and confidential.

Working with a mediator reduces their burden if you and your spouse have minor children. They may not experience the anxiety and fear that come with a contested divorce that goes to court. When the two of you aren’t fighting and arguing about everything, you can focus your emotional energy on your child’s well-being and emotional health, as well as yourself. Mediation also shows responsible behavior and models the ability to have calm, productive discussions with a person, even if you don’t like them. Children are less likely to feel like pawns in a divorce when their parents work with a mediator.

If you are thinking about ending your marriage in a less-stressful manner, contact the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner in Jenkintown, Pennsylvania at (215) 886-1266 to schedule a consultation. You may also fill out our contact form, and an office associate will promptly contact you to set up an appointment.