The Skills Parents Learn During a Collaborative Divorce
Research has shown that roughly 45% of first marriages will end in divorce. This means that many parents are forced to raise their children with someone they do not get along with. With a collaborative divorce, however, ex-spouses can learn the skills needed to work together while raising the kids.
You Get to Express Yourself
The term “collaborative divorce” basically means what it sounds like. Both parties of a separation will work together and with their respective attorneys to come up with a suitable divorce arrangement. This is beneficial for many couples because it allows them to avoid the uncertainty of a courtroom divorce.
While you and your former spouse were together, you may have found it difficult to truly express your needs and desires. In a collaborative divorce setting, your partner is no longer able to dismiss your concerns or otherwise shut you down. Furthermore, he or she is no longer able to use money or other tools in an effort to control you.
If a controlling scenario develops, the party who is facilitating the talks will steer the conversation back to a healthier place. In many cases, having the opportunity to speak can help build your confidence. Furthermore, it can help you speak out on behalf of your child both now and in the future.
You Can Build a Rapport With the Other Parent
The collaborative divorce process takes place outside of court with the help of lawyers and possibly a mediator. Ultimately, the goal is to get each person to work together to create a settlement that meets their needs. This makes it easier for parents to build trust and develop a rapport with each other. When you trust the child’s other parent, it may reduce the odds of future conflict. If conflicts do arise, the trust and respect that you have for the child’s other parent could help you come to an out-of-court resolution.
You Learn to Put the Child’s Needs First
When parents trust and respect each other, they learn how to get past their petty squabbles and focus on the kids. This can be beneficial for your child because he or she will tend to do better in an environment that is free from conflict. Generally speaking, your children will know if you are stressed or feeling sad. They will also assume that the other parent is the source of that stress. Learning how to respect and communicate with your former spouse can help reduce everyone’s stress level and make it easier for everyone to adjust to their new realities.
You Learn How to Share Information Appropriately
After a divorce, it will be necessary to share information about how your child is doing with the other parent. He or she should be aware of any behavioral problems or any other issues that the child is experiencing. It is also important to talk about any positive developments such as getting good grades in school or getting a driver’s license.
The collaborative law process is all about the free exchange of information related to household finances or anything else that is relevant in your divorce. Over time, you will learn how to create boundaries and determine which topics you can keep to yourself. While you may feel justified in your decision to have closed yourself off in the past, it can be detrimental to your children moving forward. Therefore, it is important to trust the process and embrace the benefits that it can provide.
You Learn How to Obtain Closure
You may have difficulty letting go of the past or need time to process what is happening to you. In a collaborative setting, you get to share stories about the good times and cry about the loss of a relationship that you likely used to cherish. When the process is over, you might discover that a chapter in your life has been closed for good. Once you realize that, it could be easier to move on.
If you need a collaborative law attorney to help with your case, call the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner today. The phone number to her Jenkintown office is 215-886-1266.
Leave a Comment