When Only One Spouse Wants A Divorce

What Happens When Only One Spouse Is Ready for Divorce?

Divorce rates have consistently declined in the United States over the last few decades, and Pennsylvania currently has one of the lowest ones in the country. However, not all couples wish to remain married, and sometimes, only one person wants to proceed with the divorce. This situation can complicate things, but in the end, if one person wants a divorce, they will be able to acquire one.

Each Spouse Has Their Own Journey

Both spouses rarely decide on divorce at the same time. Usually, one spouse might consider it first, but the other spouse might not agree immediately. Some couples might choose couples therapy to work on their relationship. When couples are in opposite emotional places—with one set on divorce and the other focused on the marriage—they might choose a short-term therapy called discernment therapy. There are few sessions to this type of therapy, and the therapist meets with the couple and then with each person individually during each session. By the end of the process, the spouses decide on whether they want to continue or not. The goal of discernment therapy is that each spouse gets to know themselves better and that each gains a deeper understanding of their marriage so they can be more confident in deciding where to go from there.

When Only One Spouse Wants to Move Forward With the Divorce

Even after therapy, only one spouse might be ready to move forward with the divorce, so they may face resistance from the unwilling spouse. That resistance might be expressed in different ways, all of which could affect the process. Some of the ways a spouse’s reluctance may manifest include:

• Agreeing to the divorce and then not going through with anything requested of them
• Using emotional manipulation and threats to attempt to control the other spouse
• Acting in a loving, supportive way, hoping for a reconciliation then lashing out in anger when the reconciliation does not happen

Approaching an Unwilling Spouse

If you anticipate that your spouse will be reluctant to pursue a divorce, you need to figure out the best way to approach them. Understanding why you are choosing to end the marriage will be difficult for them, but showing them compassion from the beginning can help them eventually understand your decision and, in turn, realize that the marriage is over. However, you need to also be sure that divorce is the path you want to take, as you will need to be firm when you do speak to them about it. Before you have the conversation, be prepared to explain why you want the divorce while remaining respectful of your spouse and their feelings.

Choosing a Non-Adversarial Divorce Process

One of the ways you can show your spouse that you have compassion for their situation is by choosing a non-adversarial divorce process. Not all divorces have to be long, drawn-out court battles. Once you have decided to move forward, you should speak with a divorce lawyer about your choices. You have several options to choose from that allow you and your spouse to keep more control over your decisions in a more private setting, which can help when the other spouse might still be unsure about where the marriage is heading. Some of these options include:

• Collaborative divorce
• Divorce mediation
• Divorce arbitration

These alternative dispute resolution options can help you avoid litigation. Your divorce lawyer can invite your spouse to begin the process and advise about what to do if they are still reluctant and combative about the process.

Finding the Right Attorney Is Important

Divorce is complex even when both spouses agree to move forward with it. Finding the right attorney is important. You should find a Pennsylvania lawyer who will listen to you about your situation and your desires for the process and beyond, who will explain your options carefully and advise you as to the ones that will meet your needs. At the Law Office of Joanne Kleiner, you can find the compassion and guidance you seek. Call us today at 215-886-1266 or use our contact page to set up an appointment at our Jenkintown office.